I’m addicted to lists. There, I’ve
said it. And not just lists for myself, but for my husband (the honey-do list),
as well as lists for my children so that we may all have a well-ordered life
together. We make grocery lists every Sunday. I have a birthday list/calendar
hanging in my office, a home improvement list, and a back-to-school list for
that ever growing list of must-have’s to be successful in school (or so is
promised). I revel in checking things off of lists. I feel accomplished,
productive, and even a little proud of myself.
Then
there’s the list of hopes, dreams and expectations for our children. This list
ended up causing more harm than good during high school for our boys. It’s not
their fault; the fault is all mine. After all, I’m the one who made the list
and I realize now that I never even consulted them on what should be on that
list. Silly mommy.
Number
one on the list – go to college! I believe that the best and most effective way
to make your dreams come true is to start with the end in mind and then work
backwards. With a destination set, then you create your map (use Google maps
when necessary) and follow the directions. I noticed that once our boys were
midway through high school, they each had a different destination in mind than I
had originally set as the target. One wanted to go to college, but not the kind
of college I thought we were shooting for. The other didn’t want to go to
college at all, and I just didn’t know what to do with that. After all, why
wouldn’t you want to go to college?
Both
sons, afraid they were going to disappoint their mother, became a little
difficult as they tried to figure out how to tell mom they didn’t want what she
wanted for them. None of us were enjoying the journey. Who knew I was that
scary?
Since the
destinations had changed, the ensuing list of steps needed to get there had to
change too – but so did the author of the list. I could still help Christopher
determine the steps to going to a local university, and I could still help
Charles figure out how to become his dream of being a veterinary tech. Help being the operative term here. Guide, yes. Support, even better. Decide,
determine, and dictate, well, not anymore.
Thought Poke
Remember that even though the plans
God has for each of us are meant to prosper us and not harm us; to give us hope
and a future, it doesn’t mean that the ones we have for our children are just
as beneficial. Reconsider the plans you have. They may have to be adjusted.